An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i drank out of a bidet.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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