Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize