I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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