Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
