Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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