doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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