i just had sex bonerless
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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