We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
