one might say we're banned from that church
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
