Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
