my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
