He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
