Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
