I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize