I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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