Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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