So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
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