Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
someone owes me an orgasm
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
