its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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