I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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