Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
