whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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