no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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