You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
