This is not my ceiling
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize