Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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