I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
