Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
