names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you never un-have a 4some
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
