whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize