she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
