Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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