my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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