i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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