your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
