his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
