I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
