I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
