i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
