Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
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