this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
