I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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