Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just tell him i said nine months
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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