dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
