he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
