I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
porn star boner night. come get it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
