i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
