Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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