just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
