So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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