Me too!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize