left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
