Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
