My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
