Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
love makes seman taste better
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
