i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
