my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
